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Gam Zu La Tova...

Life is funny…Just when you think you have pretty much everything figured out someone or something comes along to remind you that you really don’t. In the 40 (ish) years that I’ve been making decisions and getting on with my life I’ve made both good…and bad decisions. The idea is to learn from both … that way your ability to make future ‘good’ decisions are greatly enhanced.

We don’t usually think about it but a lot goes into a decision … or at least it should. I’m not talking cream or sugar type stuff … I’m talking big decisions that potentially can affect your future and the lives of the people that you love. When faced with what I call a potential ‘life changer’ I try to make sure I’ve done these things to help you to make a good decision.

First off … make certain that you have all of the facts and angles covered. This is very important as it is required for happens after this step. Ask questions … and if you don’t have all the answers … ask some more. You will rarely get all the answers you need but do your best to find out as much as you possibly can.

Secondly … talk to the right person about the decision you are about to make. This might or might not be your best friend or your significant other … but someone who is going to give you the best perspective or lend the most experience to the decision you are faced with.

Write it out. Make a list of the positives and negatives of a big life decision. Explore every angle and do your best to be fair, open and balanced on your list. This is ‘old fashioned’ advice but it really should be heeded. When you can actually visualize the positives and negatives of a big decision it can assist you in making the right choice.

Finally … once you’ve decided something…own it. Do your best not to look back as that will compromise the actions that you need to take to make your decision a more positive one. If you’ve made a bad decision a bigger and more important new decision is almost certainly looming. That can be true of good decisions as well. 

Good decision making skills are learned … sometimes the hard way. This is how foolish boys grow to be wise men. Big decisions should be a process and when done properly…”Gam zu la tova…may every thing work out for the best….”

I Can Only Imagine...

Exactly one year ago…I wearily made my way home after another night of vigilance at the bedside of my beloved nephew Brandon Hendrick. To me Brandon was more than just a sick kid that I had met and grown to love. He was a messenger…a person who comes into your life in a very subtle way and then becomes a life changing force for you and everyone fortunate enough to know him. You see…Brandon was stricken with Osteosarcoma … a very deadly form of bone cancer. His friendship would serve as one of my greatest life lessons. 

His journey ended on October 14, 2008 … rightfully surrounded by the friends and family that he touched so deeply.

The details and story of Brandon’s illness aren’t important anymore. What is more important is the impact he left on me and others in the few blessed years I was able to spend with him. Wickedly handsome, charming, quick witted and athletic … young Brandon was the kind of person who could make instant friends…and he did. Initially he was my cousin’s son’s roommate…and just another kid who left the gloomy Pacific Northwest for the sunshine of Arizona State. By the time the welcoming dinner was over…he was a cherished friend who…by my great fortune…very quickly became too close to me to be called a friend. So my ‘nephew B’ took his rightful place in my home and in our hearts.

Brandon wasn’t sick…really. When we met his cancer was in remission. He was so full of life…so enthusiastic for the future. He would show up unannounced (always walked in…never knocked…never rang the doorbell) would sit and talk for hours about his plans … his future … his life. He was an amazing conversationalist…self depricating…engaged… and humorous. He loved to talk but loved to listen more. My words can’t do him justice … you just had to know him to understand.

When the cancer returned he was devasted but he never sought pity. His faith in God never wavered and neither did his spirit. “God has plans for me” he would say as though there was a deeper inner meaning that we all didn’t understand at the time. It quickly became evident that his prognosis was not good as his condition worsened at a frightening pace.

I sat with him one night at the hospital as he contemplated one more round of aggressive and painful chemotherapy. He asked me what he should do…essentially should he fight or give up. Here he was…a 22 year old man … in what should have been the prime of his life … making a decision on just how long and how well he would live. I will never forget that night…we prayed…we cried…we talked and at the end he told me that it was time for God’s plan to be carried out. He would die less than a month later.

I don’t know if there is an internet in heaven…but B…if you get a chance to read this…you should know:

I am living a full life…(like you told me)

I don’t fear death anymore…(like you taught me)

I unashamedly tell people I love them…(like you did)

I cherish my time with the people I love…(like you always did)

I try to help others as much as I can…(like I promised you)

I think about you every day…(like so many others do)

Your family has become my family … your cherished friends have become my cherished friends. I will honor my promise to you…we have founded a charity in your name that will help others who God has made special plans for. It’s called the Brandon J. Hendrick Believe in Miracles Foundation…we have our first golf tournament next month…and we’ll all be together again…just like we were this time last year.

Your uncle loves you…your uncle misses you…but more than anything else your uncle thanks you for all that you taught me.