The Brandon J Hendrick Believe in Miracles Foundation is having its first annual golf tournament at Club West in… http://bit.ly/3jfe2o
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There’s a fraternity of sorts of men who have lost their fathers. I belong … in fact today marks the two year anniversary of my Dad’s passing. I’ve spent most of this past week and all of today thinking about him … what he did for me … what he did for others.
I’m pained by the loss of my father. That pain has not really diminished in the two years that he has been gone. I don’t need to go on about how extraordinary my Dad was nor is that my intention. He was a great father and a great man … period.
Really … my Dad was great because he instilled in me (and my brothers and sister) a desire to never let him down. As a child and later as an adult … I just couldn’t stand the thought of my father being disappointed in me. When I was a child I worked hard at school … in sports and on my chores. I did so to make him proud and he never hesitated to give me praise regardless of how I did … as long as I tried my best.
My Dad never really lectured or scolded us … he just always had certain expectations of us as children. We rarely let him down and when we did a simple look from him was suffice in making us realize that we had disappointed him. After a mistake (big or small) my Dad would say “Did you learn anything?” and then just listen. It was great parenting … something I wish I could have done more of with my own children.
Losing your Dad is a life event that you never recover from … it’s something you never feel better about it no matter how long ago it happened. I do feel blessed that I had such a great man as a father. I told him that today … I tell him that everyday … I still want him to be proud of me … just like I did when I was a little boy.
How some people look at life…
(via livejamie)
I’m a homeowner … which means it is incumbent on me to be either a: wealthy enough to pay someone to fix my stuff or b: lucky enough to know someone to help me fix my stuff or c: handy enough to fix my own stuff. Well…I’m a definite b to c guy on this quiz with a big lean towards the b.
This past Sunday an early jump on my day garnered me about an hour to tackle a plumbing issue. Seems the bathroom that the kids use had a drain pipe erode from all the liquid rock that comes out of my faucet. Awesome. The resulting water damage took out a bar of soap, a box of tampons and some Little Mermaid bubble bath … not necessarily a disaster but definitely shaping my day to don my boots, jeans and that special tool belt that screams SEXY every time I wear it.
I’m going to guess at least some of you reading this have never done a lot of plumbing … and before you call me to fix your next leaky faucet … know this: I suck at plumbing work … I’d rather trim palm trees with a butter knife.
I got it done … in fact I went ahead and replaced all the piping and fixtures underneath the sink. I had to do it twice because I rushed the first time to get it done quickly. I missed out on a relaxing evening because I was in too much of a rush that morning.
Here’s what I learned from my plumbing experience … working on a plumbing issue is like working on your life. If you rush through it … don’t ask others for guidance and advice … and leave loose ends … you’re going to leak and potentially ruin your tampons. Our world today has put us a lot of us in a frantic pace. We are trying to do more in less time or not taking the time to do something right the first time. We are hesitant to ask other, more experienced people for advice fearing that they may guide us to a longer … more difficult road.
Life … like plumbing … isn’t all that complex but does require some knowledge … a little patience … and the ability to re work some things if you don’t do it right the first time. You also have to have the right tools and you have to know how to use them. If you don’t do it right … call someone that has done it already and see what they tell you. Either way make sure you follow each step carefully and don’t take shortcuts … otherwise you end up ruining things that are a lot more valuable than what is under your sink.
This is one of the most sincere love songs of all times … No, I’m not gay…but even if I was I would never forget the girl that it reminds me of.
Life is funny…Just when you think you have pretty much everything figured out someone or something comes along to remind you that you really don’t. In the 40 (ish) years that I’ve been making decisions and getting on with my life I’ve made both good…and bad decisions. The idea is to learn from both … that way your ability to make future ‘good’ decisions are greatly enhanced.
We don’t usually think about it but a lot goes into a decision … or at least it should. I’m not talking cream or sugar type stuff … I’m talking big decisions that potentially can affect your future and the lives of the people that you love. When faced with what I call a potential ‘life changer’ I try to make sure I’ve done these things to help you to make a good decision.
First off … make certain that you have all of the facts and angles covered. This is very important as it is required for happens after this step. Ask questions … and if you don’t have all the answers … ask some more. You will rarely get all the answers you need but do your best to find out as much as you possibly can.
Secondly … talk to the right person about the decision you are about to make. This might or might not be your best friend or your significant other … but someone who is going to give you the best perspective or lend the most experience to the decision you are faced with.
Write it out. Make a list of the positives and negatives of a big life decision. Explore every angle and do your best to be fair, open and balanced on your list. This is ‘old fashioned’ advice but it really should be heeded. When you can actually visualize the positives and negatives of a big decision it can assist you in making the right choice.
Finally … once you’ve decided something…own it. Do your best not to look back as that will compromise the actions that you need to take to make your decision a more positive one. If you’ve made a bad decision a bigger and more important new decision is almost certainly looming. That can be true of good decisions as well.
Good decision making skills are learned … sometimes the hard way. This is how foolish boys grow to be wise men. Big decisions should be a process and when done properly…”Gam zu la tova…may every thing work out for the best….”
Exactly one year ago…I wearily made my way home after another night of vigilance at the bedside of my beloved nephew Brandon Hendrick. To me Brandon was more than just a sick kid that I had met and grown to love. He was a messenger…a person who comes into your life in a very subtle way and then becomes a life changing force for you and everyone fortunate enough to know him. You see…Brandon was stricken with Osteosarcoma … a very deadly form of bone cancer. His friendship would serve as one of my greatest life lessons.
His journey ended on October 14, 2008 … rightfully surrounded by the friends and family that he touched so deeply.
The details and story of Brandon’s illness aren’t important anymore. What is more important is the impact he left on me and others in the few blessed years I was able to spend with him. Wickedly handsome, charming, quick witted and athletic … young Brandon was the kind of person who could make instant friends…and he did. Initially he was my cousin’s son’s roommate…and just another kid who left the gloomy Pacific Northwest for the sunshine of Arizona State. By the time the welcoming dinner was over…he was a cherished friend who…by my great fortune…very quickly became too close to me to be called a friend. So my ‘nephew B’ took his rightful place in my home and in our hearts.
Brandon wasn’t sick…really. When we met his cancer was in remission. He was so full of life…so enthusiastic for the future. He would show up unannounced (always walked in…never knocked…never rang the doorbell) would sit and talk for hours about his plans … his future … his life. He was an amazing conversationalist…self depricating…engaged… and humorous. He loved to talk but loved to listen more. My words can’t do him justice … you just had to know him to understand.
When the cancer returned he was devasted but he never sought pity. His faith in God never wavered and neither did his spirit. “God has plans for me” he would say as though there was a deeper inner meaning that we all didn’t understand at the time. It quickly became evident that his prognosis was not good as his condition worsened at a frightening pace.
I sat with him one night at the hospital as he contemplated one more round of aggressive and painful chemotherapy. He asked me what he should do…essentially should he fight or give up. Here he was…a 22 year old man … in what should have been the prime of his life … making a decision on just how long and how well he would live. I will never forget that night…we prayed…we cried…we talked and at the end he told me that it was time for God’s plan to be carried out. He would die less than a month later.
I don’t know if there is an internet in heaven…but B…if you get a chance to read this…you should know:
I am living a full life…(like you told me)
I don’t fear death anymore…(like you taught me)
I unashamedly tell people I love them…(like you did)
I cherish my time with the people I love…(like you always did)
I try to help others as much as I can…(like I promised you)
I think about you every day…(like so many others do)
Your family has become my family … your cherished friends have become my cherished friends. I will honor my promise to you…we have founded a charity in your name that will help others who God has made special plans for. It’s called the Brandon J. Hendrick Believe in Miracles Foundation…we have our first golf tournament next month…and we’ll all be together again…just like we were this time last year.
Your uncle loves you…your uncle misses you…but more than anything else your uncle thanks you for all that you taught me.
